"In this fucked up world all you can hope for is change, and I'd rather be a hypocrite to you now than a zombie forever."

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

It has been so many months

since I have been on here. Let me explain that my sister (29, single, enjoys long walks on the ground...because we don't have any nice beaches in England) moved into my bedroom on June 10th and parked her bed right-smack-bang in the middle! With her she brought her computer and the thought of blogging like a busy bee now that I had stuck it to the man and left my retail job was all too exciting. Sadly my excitement was in vain because everytime I typed out a post, the 'PUBLISH POST' button would decline by acting like it didn't exist. No post for you.
It seems her brand new dell desktop didn't like Blogger and all of it's ramblin' glory. Consequently I have been absent for weeks'n'months'n'whatnot and for this I am sorry.
To make up for this huge hole that was undoubtedly punched into your life, I shall compensate by whoring out my blogging skills like I'm working on the sunset strip. That didn't make sense but neither does life itself so nevermind.

Stay tuned folks.

Monday, 6 June 2011

Why put a Christmas film on now?

Stop teasing me! It's over 7 months until christmas. I KNOW, the tv doesn't need to remind me. It was Home Alone 2: Lost In New York - THE best christmas film.

*Sings* "laaaast christmas...I gave you my heart"

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Things I Love Thursday

The new version of the library. It's easy to use, clear,busy - I love it!

Being free from the bakery :)
...but having a present waiting for me!

My friend emailing me and the prospect of us meeting up and going to the West End. Yesyesyess.

The idea of my sister moving back in for a while so I won't be alone *sadface*


Not bumping into my ex boyfriend! Yay!

Strangers who talk to you and give you sweeties. I forgot you shouldn't accept sweets from a stranger and then half my tooth landed on my tongue...that's today's life lesson huh.

My brother buying a new kettle. The other one broke and we've been using a pan on the cooker for the past 3 days! Despair.
My brother also lent me his earphones as my (L)earphone decided to break a little.

Broken headphones!

My tooth just fell out as I was chewing on a toffee sweet. It was a crown so it's left a little-pointy-metal-thing that I am compulsively touching because it feels interesting.

I'm googling Madonna&SeanPenn because apparently they had a violent marriage that I only became aware of yesterday. Should I be doing this? No, I should be revising but the library is packed and I see no table space so...

Trying to get some volunteering sorted out for summer, I can't wait for this exam to be over!

Also disappointed by GalaDarling's lack of updates since the other day - it's Thursday! Where the TILT?

I wish American Idol was on tonight!

Monday, 23 May 2011

How to make a good first impression - Body Language tips!

The first few seconds of meeting somebody are crucial because that’s the optimum time for making a good impression. Which isn’t very long! Hence why using simple tricks can help to cement you as the likable person you are to whoever has the pleasure of meeting you. First I’ll concentrate on the physical aspect - as it’s the most crucial - before giving you a conversational guide of how to endear somebody to your unique personality.

Step One: Smile :).
Inevitable but true! The reasons are obvious: everybody wants to be happy and happiness is represented by a smile… and a smile turns into laugher; which is infectious. As we all want to be happy we are naturally drawn to positive, friendly people instead of those who look miserable. Also, if you have a stern or sad look on your face you don’t look very approachable! Smiling is a way of saying “I like you, talk to me” to somebody’s subconscious mind and it’ll make you feel happier as a side effect.

Step Two: Elbow Touch
The elbow touch is a body language secret. If you brush somebody’s elbow for less than a second they‘re prone to feel positively about you (do so without them realising or they may question your attraction to human joints). It’s a hard trick to pull off but it really works! If you ever have to shake somebody’s hand you could use your left hand to subtly graze their elbow and just watch them smile back at you.

Step Three: Open arms
Open body language is very important. Closed body language - from arms to legs, says that you are thinking negative thoughts and are unlikely to be engrossed in the person you’re with. On the contrary open body language says you are an honest and happy person who they want to be around. Ensure you face the person directly, with a level standing and open palms while you’re in conversation.

Step Four: Posture
Stand straight! Slouching is commonly associated with insecurity and laziness, which are both undesirable traits. In truth many people have them but regardless I’m assuming you’d rather project yourself as confident and capable, in which case hold your head up high and arch your back. It’ll command respect and you will consciously feel more powerful as a result. It’s all trickery!

Eye Contact
As with posture, this is about confidence. Not being able to maintain eye contact with someone usually means you’re unsure of yourself and therefore sending out the message that you aren’t worth knowing really. This is of course not true! So when you’re both speaking and listening to somebody, always look them straight in the eye (for a comfortable period of time) and you’ll have their attention whilst letting them know you have theirs.

Step Five: Head Tilt
It’s a well known fact that the secret to being a great conversationalist is to listen. Nothing else is as effective because the reality is that people love talking about themselves. Even people who claim otherwise do - they just love talking about what they don’t like about themselves instead of what they do. So in conversation, you want to do everything you can to convey to the speaker that you’re listening and not just waiting for your turn to speak. When you speak your head should be straight but as the other person responds, tilt your head and nod occasionally to affirm your ears are in fact working. To further confirm your understanding try to include agreeing sounds such as “mm” and “yeah” as they talk (when appropriate) so they feel like their opinion is valued! Using the head tilt also shows you’re sympathetic to their viewpoint and implies you’re thinking about what they’re saying, even if you’re thinking “I wonder if this head tilt thing has worked yet because my neck is starting to ache a little…”

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Things I Love Thursday!

The way I've styled my outfit today. I have a tucked in salmon vest top BUT I promise you it works! I'll show you...

Having the internet back! Sort of... it's a necessity.

My ongoing 'positivity' quest.

Eating 3 doughtnuts in one day and not feeling guilty about it! OH WELL :D

My mum saying something optimistic for a change "go out and enjoy life" - aww.

Watching previously unseen Charlieissocoollike videos

Listening to the Ian Lee show because it is hilarious.

The fact Fable 3 finally arrived (it isn't for me - games bore me!)

Writing on my blog and replying to comments.Blogspehere is a cool place to be.

Having a cunning money-making plan.

Planning a trip around Europe with my friend Zahra. Wooot!

Finding out my exam is when I thought it was so still having time for revision.

Everything I have to look forward to over the next few days/weeks/months.


Share with me what you love. Gogogo.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Empowering songs to listen to after a break-up

So it’s over. You’ve had the long ‘it’s not working anymore’ conversation, that packet of Kleenex is constantly on display and Facebook serves as a painful reminder that sometimes telling the virtual world “SHAME LOSERS, I GOTS A BOYFRIEND!!” inevitably results in “…is now single.” Break-ups are never easy. If they are, Joe Bloggs wasn’t worth the ride and your new found freedom was a long time coming. Sadly - more often than not - you will be upset, the end was unforeseen and Joe Bloggs deserves a good shin-kicking.

Regardless of the circumstance, we all have emotions and we all like to feel emotions; some more powerfully and frequently than others. As much as you want to (and for a short time should) indulge yourself in the likes of James Blunt and Snow Patrol, I hereby order you to intersperse these choices with songs that remind you that actually, you don’t need anybody to look after you. Delete that couples album from your pictures folder, wear your hair how he didn’t like it and tell Phil Collins that to take a look at you now, as you’re finally free.

Mary J Blige - Just Fine.

Okay I cheated a little. This song could make me feel good at any stage in my life but it’s message is particularly effective to those who felt imprisoned before he got the boot. Listen to Mary’s confession that she can walk past the mirror and like what she sees - her life’s just fine - and emulate her pride. She’s happy to be her and you should be happy with you. “Get the best out of life and treat yourself to something new”, be it a replacement for ‘Bloggs, a new pair of shoes or a night out to drink and dance and drink some more. The reigns have gone and you can do whatever you please.

Alanis Morissette - You Oughtta Know.

…and Avril Lavigne thought she had angst. She does actually, and we‘ll explore that another day. But first, Alanis. A song that was absolutely essential on this compilation for it’s unforgiving undercurrent of “fuck you” that serves as a warning to any future man that you should never hurt a girl with a guitar. Listening to this song when he’s gone off with that-random-whore will make you feel ten times better and that’s a guarantee. Nobody deserves to be immediately replaced/practically cheated on and if that’s the case you should sing this at the top of your lungs and rejoice in the anger. You deserve to feel vexed and he needs to know he hurt you, and that isn’t right.

Jessie J - Nobody’s Perfect.

In this scenario, he’s not quite the one to blame and maybe you’ve made a mistake that ended in this mess. Jessie’s here to tell you that whilst karma might’ve come back around, nobody’s perfect and you’ve learnt your lesson. If you’re passionately sorry you can empathise with her as the girl can sing with feeling and hopefully her carefully written lyrics will inspire you to not torture yourself too much. There’s a rumour going around that if somebody really does love you, they’ll forgive your mistakes. If they don’t, you deserve somebody with a little more understanding… Nobody’s perfect.

Soft Cell - Say Hello, Wave Goodbye.

An unconventional choice sung by a man. What can I say; I’m just that edgy. Lazy irony aside, this is a heartfelt song that contains some biting snaps at an ex-lover. Love in this case grew stale quicker than beside table-bound biscuits and you’d rather forget the whole thing happened. “I’ll find someone who’s not going cheap in the sales” and “take your hands off me, I don’t belong to you, you see” though cold and direct, are effective in affirming your desire to be rid of this emotional burden. It’s implied that he/she wasn’t quite what was expected and Marc sings your right to be free. So don’t feel guilty and remember that time is precious when spent with the right people.

Shane Mack - Hurt You Like Me.

I absolutely adore this song! Clever innuendo and bitter vocal delivery combine to leave you feeling like Joan of Arc before the stake incident. Shane is cross and he’s inviting you to join him. It’s a fun song but you can almost taste the sour rejection in your mouth as he punches his way through those feisty 3 minutes.

George Michael - Faith.

The hook says it all; you’ve got to have faith. Whilst this shouldn’t strictly qualify as a ‘break-up’ song I think you can take solace in the title. You have got to have faith that one day you’ll find Mr Right and if you’re anything like George you’ve got to shake your backside in levi’s before you get there.

Stacie Orrico - I’m Not Missing You.

A cheery song with a clear message: you’re not back on the market because you’d rather not be. Going from relationship to relationship doesn’t do much good in the long run and if you’re a girl who knows this from experience, you’ve got a friend in Stacie. This is your time to shine and yet another break-up has resulted in you realising that at the moment “I guess love would be nice for someone else’s life.” You’ve got life to do, so don your best smile and hold your head up high.

Madonna - The Power Of Goodbye.

Less up-tempo and more the mature voice of a woman scorned. You’ve learnt your lesson and you realise sometimes it‘s going nowhere and it‘d be best if you just left. Madonna’s gothic phase (which suited her, personally) was full of wisdom and poise. It’s not particularly pro-feminist or trying to instil a false sense of euphoria but instead the slow rhythms leave you feeling relaxed, content and ‘correct’. There’s no greater power than the power of goodbye and you were the strong lady that recognised this.

I could go on and on because I imagine love has been the most predominant theme in music since the dawn of time. The largely female bias has an obvious explanation and I purposefully varied the idea conveyed in each track chosen. No two relationships are the same, no two break-ups are the same and more importantly, no two people are the same. You’re unique and you should love yourself because you’re all you’ve got. Remember that it’ll be okay in the end, as if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

People think it's cool not to have opinions

(Please excuse my stereotypical blogger tone in the following post but sometimes I can get a bit passionate! See if you agree with anything I mention...)

...Especially young people. It’s much easier to be laid back and sarcastic, to denounce those who actually speak because they’re so very uncool. Some news to those cool kids is that nobody cares about you sitting there with your hands behind your head and your face in a smirk. The people who laugh at your jibes and nod in agreement are as insecure and self-involved as you are and of course, only care about themselves. This isn’t youth exclusive. It happens in all walks of life in all manner of human being and it’s something you’ll face if you actually speak your mind in a society so content with the status quo and life ideals. Nothing is controversial anymore: punk is as common as Chlamydia, pornography has umpteen tv channels dedicated to it’s artistry and gone are the days when a black Jesus could land Madonna in hot water (Lady Gaga, take note). Arguably, the lack of adverse reactions to the aforementioned should be heralded as a signal that as a nation, we’ve all became an open-minded and supportive society. Strangely enough, I think not. The real reason that nothing is controversial is because we’re all so self-centred that all we care about is self-promotion and image: take Gaga releasing a song called Judas just as Easter approaches; what an inconspicuous move. Much to the record label’s dismay…the world wasn’t in despair and life moved on. Why didn't it work? Because nobody wants to be seen as judgemental or ignorant anymore and our lives have become so concerned with ‘self’ that we try to prove how ‘open-minded’ we are by any means necessary: from having ’I have an eclectic music taste’ written on your Facebook page to a producer ensuring there’s a ‘strong black woman’ in every BBC sitcom. People are increasingly hiding behind these apparently compassionate ideals in a shameless attempt at self-promotion without trying to promote a cause. In reality a lot of people still harbour prejudiced thoughts and the pressure people feel to adhere to this new culture is resulting in people complaining of a ‘Politically correct’ society. I’d rather have a morally correct society and people with their own opinions for a change.

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Things I love thursday!

It's another Thursday list of all the little&big things that make me appreciate what I have in life, instead of lamenting the things I lack:

I love the fact my brother is helping out with the housework today. Woo!
I love the referendum on the voting system because being allowed an opinion is a direct sign of democracy in action (even though I know the country will vote no!)
I love the Back to the Future t-shirt I'm wearing
I love having today Free!
I love that Thursday not only means 'TILT' but that American Idol will be on itv2! It's such a deliriously happy programme.
I love it when people are in surprisingly good moods.
I love nice customers. Honestly, you should be knighted.
I love knowing I don't have to get up at 4.40am tomorrow morning.
I love the fact that my history coursework is done & dusted!
I love the news that my brother has been accepted to work in Australia for a year! (tinged with a fraction of jealousy!)

I'm thinking of getting a tattoo...

Which isn't a new idea but I've actually started looking at designs now and I wondered what you think of this?:

I would have it in black on my upper arm, near my shoulder. What do you think?

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Weight loss

Whilst standing near those pesky cakes at work today I realised that I have been attempting to diet properly since last October and still haven't managed it! I just keep breaking the habit every once in a while. So now I'm giving myself 2 weeks to commit to a diet. I'm giving up sugar which is a lot more difficult than it sounds and more importantly means... NO TEA!?!?! I don't know how I'm going to manage it but I must! Working out to old Jane Fonda videos, having 3 meals a day and doing 50 sit-ups will be my way of slimming down. It's a shame healthy food costs so much. I bought a box of grapes from Tesco on my way home and the original price said £2.67. FOR SOME GRAPES. Seriously, mainly water with quite a big of sugar and it's the price of a McDonalds kids happy meal and then some? No wonder everyone's fat and getting fatter. I know I don't have to lose much but I want my stomach to look as flat as it did before and it just doesn't happen by magic! Being small isn't so good either. So this is me confirming my diet to the virtual world and hoping I'll hereby stick to it.

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Things I love thursday!

I love that picture.
I love the fact that I am clearly hardcore enough to stay up all night without sleep (purely accidentally)
I love the freedom today gives me to stay in bed and type
I love being forced to be productive and working under pressure, which ties in well with today!
I love the fact the Royal Wedding is tomorrow so I get a day off to catch up on sleep! Hurrahh
I love the fact there will be half price memorabilia to collect for my grandkids/sell for ££££ on Ebay! I jest…
I love my willpower when it comes to dieting
I love my energy and optimism

I love my friend Zahra for granting me a favour <3 I guess I’m now indebted to her!
I love the fact we’ll be eating salad tonight for dinner
I love that I can look forward to watching my ’Marie Antoinette’ DVD soon
I quite love this font.
I love our new kettle because it equals tea and tea equals love
I love that Amy has inspired me to get on with my bucket list-making
I love that my brother is or has proposed to his girlfriend by now!
I love that myself, mother and sister are going out for lunch tomorrow. It’s rare and it’s a big deal.
I love watching interviews with my favourite musicians thanks to the powers of YouTube
I love you for reading this.

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

How to date goth girls

I know it shouldn't have but this made me laugh! :


Tuesday, 26 April 2011

An elderly man and a bus driver

It was a sad sight. Have you ever observed other people and wondered why people have to be so aggressive and inconsiderate to each other? It's fair to say that I'm not a saint and neither are you, but I do my best to treat everybody with the respect they deserve and cannot stand nastiness.
So I'm listening to iPod while staring out of the bus window and internally planning my future as I usually do, when I notice the bus has been still for quite some time. As I look to the front of the bus I see an elderly man, shopper-on-wheels in hand and oyster (bus) card in the other. He still has his senses but he's lost his articulation as the years have multiplied, and he can't exactly get to grips with how this swipe technology that we now use to board a bus works. Fair enough, the momentary noise it makes could easily be mistaken for a refusal. He stands there nervously, covering up his embarrassment with a smile while he mumbles polite apologies and bewilderment at what's happenning. I initally smile at the sweet amusement of the situation until I realise the bus isn't on his side. The bus driver (who constantly looks as if somebody has just given him an impromptu kick in the testicles) impatiently groans at him that it worked while the man endevours to figure out what is going wrong. The bus driver presses on in his unforgiving, demeaning tone as a few passengers urge him - albeit quietly - to 'come on' and 'hurry up'.
In the end mr bus driver snaps at him to "Just go and sit down!" as if he were shooeing an irksome dog back to his kennel. Who knows what this man has been through, how much longer he's been walking the planet for or what stories he has to tell? Who cares? As long as the bus gets moving RIGHT THIS INSTANT everything is fine... until you realise that you too, will someday need help getting on and off even the simplest forms of public transport. All of your everyday ability - such as showering unaided and walking to the shops without a hitch - will disappear. I could've pleaded with the bus : Show some compassion, will you? I felt like jumping off at his stop and asking him to tell me about his life. Anything he wanted to share and everything that made him proud. For one, I'm genuinely interested and two, I could see the look of humiliation on his face. And I hate it. I hate it when anyone, good or bad, feels demoralised like that but he especially didn't deserve it. Not in that situation. I'm glad I told the computer screen, I have to put the world to rights somehow.


When myself and my friend Zahra had finished shopping on Oxford Street yesterday, we were met with a man and his megaphone at the station. He was ’dissecting’ what a ‘brainwashed’ person had bought in a shop and how it was probably made by a ’Chinese slave child’ that got paid peanuts and he informed us that we’re all mentally ill for buying these things.

Well. As much as I commend his point itself - that £40 for a top is over-priced and that exploitation of children is bad thing - his method of arguing was so antagonistic that nobody was going to listen to him. Yes it is wrong that children have to work in horrendous conditions just to feed their family but the fact is that without a job, those children would starve because they have no source of income. Their parents can’t provide for them and their days would be spent contracting diseases in squalid streets. This isn’t the fault of an innocent shopper on the high street, it’s the government of whichever country: from Pakistan to China, that needs to take accountability for this and make a change. By insulting strangers through a megaphone and implying people should make their own clothes, this man is solving nothing. If anything, he’s encouraging an apathetic disposition by pointing the blame at whoever is listening outside the station. Also, myself and Zahra couldn’t help but wonder where he bought his jeans from? We’re sure he didn’t make them himself and that flaws his argument already.

One point I did agree with was his assertion that the passer-by who ‘works’ in advertising isn’t actually ‘working’ and these children are. It may be a job but what most of us do isn’t actually ‘work’. Having said that, why should it be that everybody must spend their lives working? If you think about it, it’s quite sadistic to think that we have to spend 8 hours of the day putting ourselves through stress and misery just to ‘earn’ the right to relax afterwards. I wish the world was fair just as much as everybody else does but you‘ll have to excuse my realism for thinking that the likelihood of this happening to slim to none.

Thursday, 21 April 2011

Things I love Thursday!

I Love:

-> 'Positive Thinking Everyday' - a book for every day of the year by Norman Vincent Peale: the godfather of positive thinking.

Today's quote: The greatest power available to a human being is in-depth faith, the force by which you can move mountains of difficulty.

-> Non-drowsy hayfever tablets. Firstly, whoever invented the 'non-drowsy' option should be knighted and secondly, they really do work! As soon as I take one I stop sneezing... MAGICAL.

-> Comforting cuddles from my dad.

-> My reign of the laptop because my brother has decided to go shopping again.

-> Staying inside where I can see the sun but not be burnt by it's vengeful shine.

-> Still feeling like I have time to procrastinate about my history coursework and subsequently enjoying the internet.

-> Finding that my blogspot has nice comments!

-> The new charity shop which is selling cheap jewellery & dvds! Perfect.

-> Finishing work early and walking home in the sunshine with my iPod on.


Monday, 18 April 2011



So I’m with Zahra in Urban Outfitters and she points out a t-shirt that she says I’ll like… it reads “To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.” I’m then told that her friend, who I won’t name, doesn’t actually like The Smiths “but likes that song”, so bought it. Hold on. She wasted her money branding herself with a band she doesn’t actually like because she liked the song/top? Or the more likely event that she bought the t-shirt because she - like many other people - wants to be seen as indie and therefore cool? For one thing, indie is short for ’independent’; the independence of thought and actions, not subscribing to fashion trends and trying to be a part of something. Another thing is that there is nothing to be a part of anymore. The Smiths released that song in 1986 and as that was 25 years ago, the ‘indie’ scene is truly an old one. People don’t actually represent what they pretend to represent anymore. Even the ‘pretentious’ dressed students aren’t any way near pretentious. They don’t care about much, they just want to ‘talk’ on their blackberry, drink Starbucks and get a well-paid job for doing as little as they can. Nobody wants to change the world anymore and nobody is interested in taking a stand. That’s why we have enraged megaphone men calling people crazy at Oxford Street station.

What initially annoyed me is that The Smiths were meant to be a voice for the outsider and now people who have no idea what Morrissey was singing about will fly the flag of isolation without adhering to it. It used to be the pretension of typical Smiths fanatics that troubled me but now the pacification of their once profound meaning is proving to be worse. In fact, the entire shop is adorned with ’I’m-so-cool’ indie regalia. Trilby hats, Bob Dylan records, scrabble wrapping paper… if it passes for an ’alternative’ label it’ll be there. Funny thing is that hats are pointless unless it’s sunny/you’re a cowboy, that Bob Dylan record will only be bought because some kid saw it in Vanilla Sky and none of the shop’s customers would count playing scrabble as a great night in.
The Queen is Dead, and so is originality.
Pun intentional.

Lack of internet connection? Bliss!

This article was written on the 5th April 2011:

Okay, so you might think that our internet provider cutting off our connection because They sent the bill late would be a bad thing (which it sort of is) but not having the internet is actually quite the therapeutic experience. First of all, my producitivty has increased tenfold; since I got home I have tidied up my room slightly (an amazing accomplishment), arranged overdue catch up plans via phone, looked for & subsequently found my handcream, helped my mother thread sewing needles and actually bothered to put a DVD in the disk drive instead of just thinking about it. All things that would not have happened had I have been browsing the worldwideweb. All small and mundane things, granted but I can't tell the number of times I've been meaning to watch a film and not bothered because something exciting is about to happen on Tumblr/Facebook/blahdeblah....funny thing? It never does.

In case you're curious, the film is St Elmo's Fire - a 'bratpack' classic. To all of you ThinkingGirl's who cite Kevin as your dream guy, I salute you.
Furthermore, I feel relaxed and content. Studies and whatnot's show depression to be higher amongst those adolescents who type on social network sites night and day and I understand why. It's a virtual world we live in that isn't genuine or interactive - which I just find sad. As hypocritical as this is, I know most of you agree with me. But hey, the internet's not so bad - you have my blog! What a gift.

Peace out ThinkingGirls.

Thursday, 24 March 2011

The dismal&dark depths of my mind.

Exaggeration intentional.

I'm afraid my impulsive decision to post this blog is unlikely to result in a display of poetic prose or inspiring literature and instead you'll be subjected to the ramblings of my scatty mind. My thoughts are anything but clear, particularly when under the habitual influence of caffiene, computer screen and melancholy melody. In fact you could use such pretentious wordplay to write a book about my daily life. I jest, I'm not that sad. This is the internet, everyone's interesting and original on the internet... ;).

Moving on to the dismal&dark depths of my mind...

Ever since I can remember I've had a low concentration span/boredom threshold. At the risk of sounding childish, it's an immovable force that blocks my progress and aids my procrastination. Laziness, thought detestable, is a footprint of my personality. I do attempt to be productive, I just get distracted/busy/booked up/thinking/talking/singing and I leave whatever said thing is to the 'last minute'. I regret it afterwards and tell myself I won't do it again. Of course, you and I both know that I'm lying, only with the purest intentions. I like to imagine a change of scenery and greater sense of purpose will change this negative pattern but I partially believe it's an inherent trait. I try to make plans. I try to make decisions and not change my mind. I may not be Doing a great deal but I do Do a great deal of Thinking. And when I think, I think about doing. Thing is, while I'm thinking about doing what I think I should be doing, I wonder what the point is. Unexpected, I'm sure but true nontheless.

From my constant observation, I see hopelessness all around me. People plan their lives away and rarely do the great things happen. Often, when they do they aren't quite what they expected. I don't want a 9-5 job in an office with a boss I can't stand because it means I can pay off a mortgage on my bricks&water and start a family with my soon to be detested husband. Or even worse. We'll get bored of each other. And divorce; the way that so many marriages go. Producing children that you want to love you and make your aging days worth it when in reality they'll convince themselves they hate you during adolescence and treat you with less respect than you once imagined. Pessimistic, perhaps. Realistic? Possibly. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually quite the incurable optimist but I've been posessed by a brand of realism that isn't so uplifting when you grow up in the depressing pseudo-suburbia of greater London/Essex/nowhere land. So when I'm dizzying myself in the ambitious heights of my mind I often wonder why I bother when my laziness and probable future sets out to go against my 'plans'.

Thinking is powerful but doing is better.

Things I Love Thursday

Finding out more about my Chinese horoscope - the Monkey and indoctrinating my work mates into it as well.

Eating my mum's chocolate cake. It's heavenly.

Receiving an email from the BBC saying I impressed them with my (impromptu) application!

Drinking Dr Pepper on this hot day

The fact we've actually managed to have a hot day

My brother's poem 'Beasts of Freedom' that he wrote when he was about 14. It's amazing.

Being in bed right now.

The fact that my volunteering email was replied to.

Listening to Depeche Mode in bed while drinking tea. Nice.

Saturday, 19 March 2011


Ever since I saw the video to Aerosmith's Cryin' as a little girl, I've wanted a tattoo. Actually, I've always wanted to be a part of the Aerosmith video trilogy: Crazy, Cryin' and Amazing. Riding around America on motorbike, chasing Josh Holloway down the street because he stole your bag, escaping from school early to go on a mini road trip with your best friend...it all seemed so much more interesting than a usual weekend. I feel I'm deviating from the point of my post: Tattoos!
I love tattoos; to me they instantly add interest to a person. Sure sure, we're all individual and everyone is attractive in their own right but a tattoo sets you apart (unless you're walking around Camden market) as it's an artistic expression that you've painted onto your own body, forever. Like when you scribbled on yourself as a child but this time with a particularly hardcore crayon. As far as I'm aware, most people think they're a symbol for the insecure and the weird but I prefer the terms 'unique' and 'misunderstood'. Men look particularly appealing with them, especially with dark eyes, long hair and a penchant for the 'gothic' look. Oo-er. That's just personal opinion, mind. Either way: tattoos are a winner.
That being said, I'm still unsure of whether to have one. Partially because I'm as indecisive as a pair of scales and partially because of the safety risk - a dodgy needle is all it takes to acquire Hepatitis and I don't really fancy that, if I'm honest.
Design-wise I'm thinking of a simple black rose which I may later have coloured in but probably won't (a prime example of my indecision!). Black's the best tattoo colour isn't it? Red and green are lovely though...
Will I do it? Maybe when I'm at a more exciting period in my life and hopefully off travelling somewhere. On my motorbike,without my handbag, with my best friend clasping my hand as I'm soothed by the music of a classic rock band.

Thursday, 17 March 2011

Things I Love Thursday

I love:

The picture to the left.

My unimaginably generous orthodontist Mark and his assist Vicky, who have the patience of a saint.

Orange bracket braces. I'm cool .

Suzanne Vega - Left of center.


Using the laptop underneath the covers in bed while everyone else is busy outside.

Tea. Forever. And ever.

Having holiday from work

Finding out my 'life path number' is 4 and that it's a rare number to be. Apparently meaning 'the builder', I'm a hard worker who could achieve lots in life.

Chocolate biscuits evidently, as I've eaten 8 today...must stop!

Smiling at old ladies in the street because it makes them feel good.

Listening to the birds sing as I type.

The fact I wrote some nice 'poetry' on the tube in my little pink book.

Actually, I love my little pink book itself.

Monday, 7 March 2011

How to spot a ThinkingGirl

Just like anything in life, there are many variations of a thinker. But luckily stereotypes exist for a reason and can consequently provide Joe Bloggs with a guide of how to spot a ThinkingGirl.

If you are that ThinkingGirl, mentally tick off any of the following that applies to you and if you find more than 5, Congratulations! You're a bonafide geek.

1. Awkwardness. It may not sound like an actual word but it is, and you personify it with your inverted body language, your shifty eyes and your sub-conscious hair touching. Bless you.

2. Glasses. Yes, I went there. Glasses make you hotter and add extra perceived intelligence; where's the bad?

3. Articulation. People who use 'complex' vocabulary to express themselves without relying on colloquialisms, refrains such as 'like' and 'woah' interspersed with a repetitive "d'you know what I mean?" are usually the clever ones.

4. Manners. Those who are 'thinkers' have manners because they realise the importance of being considerate to other people. Leading me onto...

5.Compassion. Women are generally known for their empathetic ability but a ThinkingGirl's desire to fix the world often manifests itself in: a subscription to War Child, volunteering for Crisis and fundraising events for Amnesty International more than their dimmer counterparts.

6. Gamer knowledge. Personally I cannot vouch for this but ask all readers of GirlGamer and players of Fable 3 and I'm sure they'll be the deep & meaningful type. Just with added guy-geek appeal.

7. Guitar-based music. She listens to The Smiths, The Cure and The Libertines? She's a thinker.

8. A penchant for nostalgia. ThinkingGirl's have this silly habit of believing they were simply 'born in the wrong era' so culturally surround themselves with the likes of John Hughes films and David Bowie LP's. What they don't tell her is that women felt just as disenfranchised back then, just in different ways. Nevertheless, she doesn't need telling because the 'thinker' will have worked it out for herself.

9. Typical uniform: tartan-checked shirts, dr martens, converse, black attire, rings, silver jewellery, punk-inspired wristbands, colourful hair, brunette/ginger hair especially, pale skin, slim figure, baggy jeans, greens and blues, substantial lack of make-up and additional tattoos/piercings.

10. She loves fantasy films, science fiction and quirky comedy.

Why I created this blog:

There's more to my life than shoes, chocolate and shopping. I've seen about 2 and a half episodes of Sex and the City and I don't think all men are like toilets...
I also happen to know that there are lots of other women who feel the same way! So this is a place where you can celebrate being an outcast and share tips on how to release your inner geek.
Read me.
You know you want to.