"In this fucked up world all you can hope for is change, and I'd rather be a hypocrite to you now than a zombie forever."

Monday, 23 May 2011

How to make a good first impression - Body Language tips!

The first few seconds of meeting somebody are crucial because that’s the optimum time for making a good impression. Which isn’t very long! Hence why using simple tricks can help to cement you as the likable person you are to whoever has the pleasure of meeting you. First I’ll concentrate on the physical aspect - as it’s the most crucial - before giving you a conversational guide of how to endear somebody to your unique personality.

Step One: Smile :).
Inevitable but true! The reasons are obvious: everybody wants to be happy and happiness is represented by a smile… and a smile turns into laugher; which is infectious. As we all want to be happy we are naturally drawn to positive, friendly people instead of those who look miserable. Also, if you have a stern or sad look on your face you don’t look very approachable! Smiling is a way of saying “I like you, talk to me” to somebody’s subconscious mind and it’ll make you feel happier as a side effect.

Step Two: Elbow Touch
The elbow touch is a body language secret. If you brush somebody’s elbow for less than a second they‘re prone to feel positively about you (do so without them realising or they may question your attraction to human joints). It’s a hard trick to pull off but it really works! If you ever have to shake somebody’s hand you could use your left hand to subtly graze their elbow and just watch them smile back at you.

Step Three: Open arms
Open body language is very important. Closed body language - from arms to legs, says that you are thinking negative thoughts and are unlikely to be engrossed in the person you’re with. On the contrary open body language says you are an honest and happy person who they want to be around. Ensure you face the person directly, with a level standing and open palms while you’re in conversation.

Step Four: Posture
Stand straight! Slouching is commonly associated with insecurity and laziness, which are both undesirable traits. In truth many people have them but regardless I’m assuming you’d rather project yourself as confident and capable, in which case hold your head up high and arch your back. It’ll command respect and you will consciously feel more powerful as a result. It’s all trickery!

Eye Contact
As with posture, this is about confidence. Not being able to maintain eye contact with someone usually means you’re unsure of yourself and therefore sending out the message that you aren’t worth knowing really. This is of course not true! So when you’re both speaking and listening to somebody, always look them straight in the eye (for a comfortable period of time) and you’ll have their attention whilst letting them know you have theirs.

Step Five: Head Tilt
It’s a well known fact that the secret to being a great conversationalist is to listen. Nothing else is as effective because the reality is that people love talking about themselves. Even people who claim otherwise do - they just love talking about what they don’t like about themselves instead of what they do. So in conversation, you want to do everything you can to convey to the speaker that you’re listening and not just waiting for your turn to speak. When you speak your head should be straight but as the other person responds, tilt your head and nod occasionally to affirm your ears are in fact working. To further confirm your understanding try to include agreeing sounds such as “mm” and “yeah” as they talk (when appropriate) so they feel like their opinion is valued! Using the head tilt also shows you’re sympathetic to their viewpoint and implies you’re thinking about what they’re saying, even if you’re thinking “I wonder if this head tilt thing has worked yet because my neck is starting to ache a little…”

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Things I Love Thursday!

The way I've styled my outfit today. I have a tucked in salmon vest top BUT I promise you it works! I'll show you...

Having the internet back! Sort of... it's a necessity.

My ongoing 'positivity' quest.

Eating 3 doughtnuts in one day and not feeling guilty about it! OH WELL :D

My mum saying something optimistic for a change "go out and enjoy life" - aww.

Watching previously unseen Charlieissocoollike videos

Listening to the Ian Lee show because it is hilarious.

The fact Fable 3 finally arrived (it isn't for me - games bore me!)

Writing on my blog and replying to comments.Blogspehere is a cool place to be.

Having a cunning money-making plan.

Planning a trip around Europe with my friend Zahra. Wooot!

Finding out my exam is when I thought it was so still having time for revision.

Everything I have to look forward to over the next few days/weeks/months.


Share with me what you love. Gogogo.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Empowering songs to listen to after a break-up

So it’s over. You’ve had the long ‘it’s not working anymore’ conversation, that packet of Kleenex is constantly on display and Facebook serves as a painful reminder that sometimes telling the virtual world “SHAME LOSERS, I GOTS A BOYFRIEND!!” inevitably results in “…is now single.” Break-ups are never easy. If they are, Joe Bloggs wasn’t worth the ride and your new found freedom was a long time coming. Sadly - more often than not - you will be upset, the end was unforeseen and Joe Bloggs deserves a good shin-kicking.

Regardless of the circumstance, we all have emotions and we all like to feel emotions; some more powerfully and frequently than others. As much as you want to (and for a short time should) indulge yourself in the likes of James Blunt and Snow Patrol, I hereby order you to intersperse these choices with songs that remind you that actually, you don’t need anybody to look after you. Delete that couples album from your pictures folder, wear your hair how he didn’t like it and tell Phil Collins that to take a look at you now, as you’re finally free.

Mary J Blige - Just Fine.

Okay I cheated a little. This song could make me feel good at any stage in my life but it’s message is particularly effective to those who felt imprisoned before he got the boot. Listen to Mary’s confession that she can walk past the mirror and like what she sees - her life’s just fine - and emulate her pride. She’s happy to be her and you should be happy with you. “Get the best out of life and treat yourself to something new”, be it a replacement for ‘Bloggs, a new pair of shoes or a night out to drink and dance and drink some more. The reigns have gone and you can do whatever you please.

Alanis Morissette - You Oughtta Know.

…and Avril Lavigne thought she had angst. She does actually, and we‘ll explore that another day. But first, Alanis. A song that was absolutely essential on this compilation for it’s unforgiving undercurrent of “fuck you” that serves as a warning to any future man that you should never hurt a girl with a guitar. Listening to this song when he’s gone off with that-random-whore will make you feel ten times better and that’s a guarantee. Nobody deserves to be immediately replaced/practically cheated on and if that’s the case you should sing this at the top of your lungs and rejoice in the anger. You deserve to feel vexed and he needs to know he hurt you, and that isn’t right.

Jessie J - Nobody’s Perfect.

In this scenario, he’s not quite the one to blame and maybe you’ve made a mistake that ended in this mess. Jessie’s here to tell you that whilst karma might’ve come back around, nobody’s perfect and you’ve learnt your lesson. If you’re passionately sorry you can empathise with her as the girl can sing with feeling and hopefully her carefully written lyrics will inspire you to not torture yourself too much. There’s a rumour going around that if somebody really does love you, they’ll forgive your mistakes. If they don’t, you deserve somebody with a little more understanding… Nobody’s perfect.

Soft Cell - Say Hello, Wave Goodbye.

An unconventional choice sung by a man. What can I say; I’m just that edgy. Lazy irony aside, this is a heartfelt song that contains some biting snaps at an ex-lover. Love in this case grew stale quicker than beside table-bound biscuits and you’d rather forget the whole thing happened. “I’ll find someone who’s not going cheap in the sales” and “take your hands off me, I don’t belong to you, you see” though cold and direct, are effective in affirming your desire to be rid of this emotional burden. It’s implied that he/she wasn’t quite what was expected and Marc sings your right to be free. So don’t feel guilty and remember that time is precious when spent with the right people.

Shane Mack - Hurt You Like Me.

I absolutely adore this song! Clever innuendo and bitter vocal delivery combine to leave you feeling like Joan of Arc before the stake incident. Shane is cross and he’s inviting you to join him. It’s a fun song but you can almost taste the sour rejection in your mouth as he punches his way through those feisty 3 minutes.

George Michael - Faith.

The hook says it all; you’ve got to have faith. Whilst this shouldn’t strictly qualify as a ‘break-up’ song I think you can take solace in the title. You have got to have faith that one day you’ll find Mr Right and if you’re anything like George you’ve got to shake your backside in levi’s before you get there.

Stacie Orrico - I’m Not Missing You.

A cheery song with a clear message: you’re not back on the market because you’d rather not be. Going from relationship to relationship doesn’t do much good in the long run and if you’re a girl who knows this from experience, you’ve got a friend in Stacie. This is your time to shine and yet another break-up has resulted in you realising that at the moment “I guess love would be nice for someone else’s life.” You’ve got life to do, so don your best smile and hold your head up high.

Madonna - The Power Of Goodbye.

Less up-tempo and more the mature voice of a woman scorned. You’ve learnt your lesson and you realise sometimes it‘s going nowhere and it‘d be best if you just left. Madonna’s gothic phase (which suited her, personally) was full of wisdom and poise. It’s not particularly pro-feminist or trying to instil a false sense of euphoria but instead the slow rhythms leave you feeling relaxed, content and ‘correct’. There’s no greater power than the power of goodbye and you were the strong lady that recognised this.

I could go on and on because I imagine love has been the most predominant theme in music since the dawn of time. The largely female bias has an obvious explanation and I purposefully varied the idea conveyed in each track chosen. No two relationships are the same, no two break-ups are the same and more importantly, no two people are the same. You’re unique and you should love yourself because you’re all you’ve got. Remember that it’ll be okay in the end, as if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

People think it's cool not to have opinions

(Please excuse my stereotypical blogger tone in the following post but sometimes I can get a bit passionate! See if you agree with anything I mention...)

...Especially young people. It’s much easier to be laid back and sarcastic, to denounce those who actually speak because they’re so very uncool. Some news to those cool kids is that nobody cares about you sitting there with your hands behind your head and your face in a smirk. The people who laugh at your jibes and nod in agreement are as insecure and self-involved as you are and of course, only care about themselves. This isn’t youth exclusive. It happens in all walks of life in all manner of human being and it’s something you’ll face if you actually speak your mind in a society so content with the status quo and life ideals. Nothing is controversial anymore: punk is as common as Chlamydia, pornography has umpteen tv channels dedicated to it’s artistry and gone are the days when a black Jesus could land Madonna in hot water (Lady Gaga, take note). Arguably, the lack of adverse reactions to the aforementioned should be heralded as a signal that as a nation, we’ve all became an open-minded and supportive society. Strangely enough, I think not. The real reason that nothing is controversial is because we’re all so self-centred that all we care about is self-promotion and image: take Gaga releasing a song called Judas just as Easter approaches; what an inconspicuous move. Much to the record label’s dismay…the world wasn’t in despair and life moved on. Why didn't it work? Because nobody wants to be seen as judgemental or ignorant anymore and our lives have become so concerned with ‘self’ that we try to prove how ‘open-minded’ we are by any means necessary: from having ’I have an eclectic music taste’ written on your Facebook page to a producer ensuring there’s a ‘strong black woman’ in every BBC sitcom. People are increasingly hiding behind these apparently compassionate ideals in a shameless attempt at self-promotion without trying to promote a cause. In reality a lot of people still harbour prejudiced thoughts and the pressure people feel to adhere to this new culture is resulting in people complaining of a ‘Politically correct’ society. I’d rather have a morally correct society and people with their own opinions for a change.

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Things I love thursday!

It's another Thursday list of all the little&big things that make me appreciate what I have in life, instead of lamenting the things I lack:

I love the fact my brother is helping out with the housework today. Woo!
I love the referendum on the voting system because being allowed an opinion is a direct sign of democracy in action (even though I know the country will vote no!)
I love the Back to the Future t-shirt I'm wearing
I love having today Free!
I love that Thursday not only means 'TILT' but that American Idol will be on itv2! It's such a deliriously happy programme.
I love it when people are in surprisingly good moods.
I love nice customers. Honestly, you should be knighted.
I love knowing I don't have to get up at 4.40am tomorrow morning.
I love the fact that my history coursework is done & dusted!
I love the news that my brother has been accepted to work in Australia for a year! (tinged with a fraction of jealousy!)

I'm thinking of getting a tattoo...

Which isn't a new idea but I've actually started looking at designs now and I wondered what you think of this?:

I would have it in black on my upper arm, near my shoulder. What do you think?

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Weight loss

Whilst standing near those pesky cakes at work today I realised that I have been attempting to diet properly since last October and still haven't managed it! I just keep breaking the habit every once in a while. So now I'm giving myself 2 weeks to commit to a diet. I'm giving up sugar which is a lot more difficult than it sounds and more importantly means... NO TEA!?!?! I don't know how I'm going to manage it but I must! Working out to old Jane Fonda videos, having 3 meals a day and doing 50 sit-ups will be my way of slimming down. It's a shame healthy food costs so much. I bought a box of grapes from Tesco on my way home and the original price said £2.67. FOR SOME GRAPES. Seriously, mainly water with quite a big of sugar and it's the price of a McDonalds kids happy meal and then some? No wonder everyone's fat and getting fatter. I know I don't have to lose much but I want my stomach to look as flat as it did before and it just doesn't happen by magic! Being small isn't so good either. So this is me confirming my diet to the virtual world and hoping I'll hereby stick to it.