"In this fucked up world all you can hope for is change, and I'd rather be a hypocrite to you now than a zombie forever."

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Help! My hair is damaged

Like most women, I take pride in my appearance. For me, my hair is almost as important as flattering make-up when it comes to looking good. I compulsively colour & cut it when the mood strikes me and then grow it back again; a vicious cycle of follicle abuse. 

When I was 13 and embarking on my adolescent rebellion adventure, I dyed my hair dark brown-black in order to match my black clothes, nails and current obsession with punk music/not smiling at anybody. Fortunately my wise mother deterred me from using a permanent hair dye so my mousey brown mane returned in no time...
At 14: sporting my 'original' hair colour

...until I was 16 that is. Ever since I was a little girl and obliviously partaking in gender stereotypes that were created to keep the patriarchal structure of our capitalist society in place, I'd dreamed of being a Bleach Blonde Barbie. Cindy was boring & brunette and at 16 it was time to transform my Mousey-locks into Goldilocks. Again, my wise mother intervened and I was forced to highlight first:

Honey blonde highlights
Not good enough, thought I. If I'm going to start a 'NEW ME!' at sixth form I may as well achieve the desired look. Many highlights and protests with mother & hairdresser later, on the eve of turning 18, my hair was an all-out bold blonde:

Hair finally damaged! Ash blonde
 "Blondes have more fun" they say and in a way they're right. You feel conventionally attractive on account of your hair and I did receive more glances and beeps from 'appreciative' men. It was also easier to be noticed when standing in front of a busy bar, waiting for the person on the other side to pour you a whiskey already. However emulating Barbie's style comes at a price. People make more assumptions about your personality - that you're fun and not too deep, say. It's also hard to manage because the roots are visible and spring up very soon. Bleach isn't the best thing for your strands of dead protein to handle and foundation becomes more of a necessity unless you like looking pasty and washed out.

Roots!  + a washed out, unhappy texture
Like most of my hair phases, the all-out blonde lasted about a year before I was bored. Had I have been born a blonde I might not have dyed my hair at all. I love blonde hair. There's just a part of me that wonders if it looks better on other people than on myself. I am after all, naturally quite dark-haired. 

So after having brown, near-black, dark blonde & light blonde hair I wondered what the next step on the colour chart was. 

Voila! Let me unveil the Redhead.

Being a redhead is a lot of fun. The first time I rinsed out my hair to reveal red I stared into the mirror for ages, just examining how cool I looked and how much it apparently reflects my personality. I guess all hairstyles & colours come with labels and as a redhead, people think you're loud, alternative, attention-seeking and feisty. I'd agree with 2 of those concerning me and other redheads that I know - some cliches are true some of the time. Red hair is always complimentary to pale skin and makes any eye colour pop out. I love it!

That picture was taken last summer and true to form - I'm bored again. Whatsmore, I miss being blonde. It was always the dream and I think blonde while you're young and brunette when you're older is a good aesthetic ideal. One represents the vitality and sunny disposition of youth and the other the smoldering, sophisticated look that comes with age & wisdom. This is just personal taste and of course, I may well change my mind.

Growing it out - How it looks today!
My current hair plan is for blonde 'festival' hair with pink and purple dip dye at the bottom. It'd be perfect for summer and I get to be blonde again! So I went to the local hairdressers today on the hunt for advice about how I can return to the light side. As you can see, my hair is damaged. It breaks off easily, causing me to find stray hairs just about everywhere I've been in the house. Furthermore it looks limp and lacks the gloss of my mousey years. (Apologies for the disturbing pose in the above picture).

Glancing at my damaged hairdo with a concerned eye, the lady snips a strand and tells me to come back once she's tested it. I'm apprehensive because I know it needs treatment but my compulsion has hit me so I go ahead with the plan. Nigh on half an hour later, said lady emerges from the backroom with tin foil and my missing hair strands...which have virtually split in half and look more pink than yellow. She simply tells me my  hair is too damaged.

So I suppose my vanity will be put on hold until I've thoroughly conditioned my hair with the above product & toned down on my primping, blow-drying, straightening and most of all colouring!

Washing my hair with luke-warm water and rinsing it off with the cold tap is another method of hair preservation. Also, I'll look out for any shampoo&conditioners marked with "repair damaged hair".

In the meantime, if you have any other hair care tips, let me know! 

Thursday, 21 June 2012

Things I love Thursday

Last night 3 of my closest friends and I went out with the intention of getting pretty drunk because exams are finally over! Today I proceeded to make a new album on Facebook because my 'university' album had nearly 200 photos. I love photos so this made me happy.

Most people have gone home so the flat I live in has fewer and fewer housemates except for my friends. Perfect!  :

My closest 3! 

Hot chocolate (with cream and chocolate sauce) and a slice of cheesecake. A beautiful combination.

Trying Calamorie for the first time. It actually looks just like a squid here! Charming!

Re-reading Chapter 5 of GalaDarling's Love&Sequins: Finding happiness and making it stay. The entire 'book' is a fun read and filled with inspiration/the motivation to keep going with 'positive thinking'. Advice from GalaDarling HQ: "Live in the present moment!" 
It's all you'll ever have and you can manifest good things towards yourself, no matter how worried you are.


Will's mother liking me so much that she bought me a rose tinted lip balm with the attached sentiment of 'tell Madie the lip balm is for her, love your mother'. It's a sweet gesture. Also the exact same balm as in the above picture.

Having a mutual friend that I'm yet to meet (but want to) write on my wall to tell me that when we do (this summer) he predicts we'll get along like a house on fire (weird phrase?).

Finally watching American Beauty - it was so good! For ages I've had the DVD but not taken it out of the case for fears it'd depress me but actually it's very clever and I loved it.

Volunteering for Barnados in Blackpool and discovering how many cool shops there are! I need to make sight-seeing plans for the summer...

Applying for jobs in the hope that I won't be in my overdraft for too long and receiving parcels with both food and money from my parents! Plus a letter -who doesn't love receiving letters?

                     Have a wondrous week y'all!

Friday, 15 June 2012

How to be optimistic about life (even on a bad day)

Everybody : Hurrah!

Today I completed a 3 hour exam on my minor subject of Media and Cultural Studies which (hopefully) went quite well. I love achieving things in the morning because it makes me feel so much better for the rest of the day! Especially when they're of importance and will affect my future...now if only I could remember that productivity makes you happier than idle procrastination all of the time.
Same goes for you reader, unless you're super productive anyway. In which case I congratulate you with only a tiny tinge of envy.

Usually when I post on this blog of mine, I avidly write this week's edition of TilT (see below for definition) and I'll explain why I'm eager to do so. I won't make any absolute statements that I don't know the answers to, such as "you only get one life" because I think a lot of us are hoping that's not necessarily true. Or that we will continue somehow in a higher plain, or maybe none of the 'above''. Any reaction is fine but one thing is for sure and that is the fact that you are here now. On this blessed earth with so much to be thankful for and look forward to. Even if it takes you some heavy thinking to realise it. When things go wrong it's natural to think about the bad things and healthily to temporarily get upset about them but a good way of dealing with it isn't to let it ruin your view of the world/your life/yourself/the day you're having but to accept it and remain optimistic.

Exhibit A: The bus was late, causing you to arrive late for work (through no fault of your own) so you're frustrated because that means your boss will be dismissive of you for the rest of the day. You get grumpy and complain mentally for a bit or maybe you feel upset at the injustice of the situation.

 But I implore you to never let anything 'ruin your day' ever again. Even if it's really quite serious: compartmentalising issues helps to keep us sane. Let your emotions out, tell a friend about whatever irked you and proceed to choose to let it go. Circumstances don't dictate how you feel - they influence how you feel and your mental strength provides you with perspective again. Any method will do but the important thing is to let it go. Let the bad things go and keep your focus on the good in life. Be grateful and be optimistic; it'll make you feel better than being miserable!

There is so much good in the world to make you happy. So, the bus was late. However you were consequently able to look at that beautifully high-cheekboned specimen for a good 12 minutes longer than you usually do. For the fourth day in a row it has been sunny so you've been able to wear that new skirt you're momentarily in love with. A friend of yours that you haven't spoken to since high school recently got in touch with you and you feel glad that you made a good impression on somebody. There will be these little blessings that you're ignoring in favour of the bad - you just have to look for them. Those were just minor examples of the beauty you can find around you and the ways you can appreciate it. Do so - it's good for you!

Thursday, 7 June 2012

A weekly dose of Gratitude

So I'm an hour late for Things I Love Thursday and figured 'Gratitude' still held the same sentiment, minus the specification on wordplay/the day I posted this.

Revision has gone amazingly well today. It makes me feel good and will hopefully boost my marks in the upcoming exam(z)! This is half the reason I'm late in posting.
A part of the revision included finding lots of revision videos online. I love educational videos! Especially vintage, theme-tuned ones from 1996 or something.

A strapping young man picked some purple flowers for me the other day and they sat prettily on my windowsill until recently. I love flowers!

About 4 am on Wednesday morning

There was some drama amid some of my friends that was easily sorted out by that beauty called communication! I love a good debate and I need harmony for happiness...it's a Moon in Libra thing...

Because it's nearly Christmas (200 days to go!!!) Will and myself watched The Santa Clause film. It was my first time seeing it - strange considering I saw Santa Claus 2 in the cinema some 10 years ago. Soon I plan to watch Love Actually too.

Cheap coca-cola <3 YouTube <3 Deciding I'll be blonde again soon <3 Having money left <3 Joining a new 'indie music' society <3 Social plans <3 Smiling <3 Watching old tv programmes again.

Sunday, 3 June 2012

I really do think this is beautiful

and inspiring.

Follow the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSYtQy9EqTA

"It's your right to listen to your gut and it ain't nobody's right to say no; it's your earned right to be who you wanna be and do what you wanna do." - Rocky Balboa

Saturday, 2 June 2012

Into the wild!

Well, not quite. But when you're a city girl (London town) and you get into an area in which tractors roam, you're immediately impressed. And a little scared of how big they are in person...

Still, Will and myself venture into the village and climb over the fence after we pass a nazi-esque sign in the previous area saying "No music. No picnics. No skateboarding." We walked across the field and all around were sights of faraway hills and moorhens flying overheard, so we did what anybody our age would do and took these:

Sulk&Smile Face

 Pre-Raphealite model potential?

I had my Lara Croft boots on so I felt pretty badass with a stick in my hand and the breeze in my hair.It was pretty lucky that I put those on today actually because in my trademark heels I probably would've strugged a bit wouldn't I?


We soon stumbled upon a beautiful stream with rocks and low trees. If you ever feel melancholy and you're able to find a river I urge you to watch the motion of the water as it flows - it's so therapeutic and beautiful!

On the way back from our adventures we took a stroll through the forest and cut across the path to the small park where we ran up to the swings with all the excitement of our seven year olds selves.
No matter how old you grow: swings are FUN!

So we played in the empty park and I got to use my Lara Croft boots again on these highly intimidating climbing frames...

All in all it's been a pretty cool day!

Friday, 1 June 2012

Laughter therapy - it's so important.

Last night one of my close friends Will performed a stand-up comedy routine in our local campus bar as part of the comedy night. It was a really proud moment for me and my other two comrades (Tom & Rhianna) because we had a "that's our boy!" feeling. And he was so good! Full of confidence and Russell Brand vocabulary.

Here's my homeslice Will & I :

He's a handsome devil.

It got me thinking of how powerful laughter as medicine and reminded me that when people tell you to laugh as much as you can, you really should. Everybody likes somebody who smiles all the time, or the constantly cheery co-worker who is insanely happy in a dull job. It breeds happiness and we enjoy it but I can't help but think people don't do enough of it.

So today, along with revision, I will indulge in some laughter therapy and would like you - Mr/Miss/Mrs Reader - to follow suit!

Love to all.